Smoking, Fire, Tears, and Medicare

What do those three things have to do with me? Well, they are all different parts of my journey these days. And what a journey it has been so far. 

Lets start with the most recent...

This past weekend I went to a marriage retreat- Lifeway's Festival of Marriage. It was a great time to be with Mercy and learn about our relationship and confront issues we have before they are all embedded in the heritage of our family. It was an added plus to spend the time with Michael and Brittany, and Mark and Michelle too. 

But something wacked me out of the blue in our last worship time. The speakers for the weekend were on stage talking about what a privilege it had been for them to just see the couples "awaken" over the weekend and how the transformation of their love for their spouses had continue to rock them as the leaders throughout the weekend. 

I started crying while they spoke. Mercy was completely freaked out because like I said it came out of nowhere. I dont even know if I can explain it, but like I shared with her, its because my heart tugged at those words he spoke. 

I know what its like to stand in front of a crowd of people and see the Spirit of God wash over them. I know whats it like to see people "awaken" not because of anything I had done or said, but simply because God was there and He wanted to change people's lives. There is nothing more powerful, more sweet, more fulfilling than to be a part of that. And I have to confess it has felt too long since I have seen God sweep through a place. Like I told Mercy, she has my heart but that is always going to be a part of my call, and there is nothing better than to be a part of that kind of work of God. 

I miss it. I miss being a part of a family. Its hard to once be a pastor of a family of God and now be on the fringe of what it feels like is the whole kingdom. 

I wonder for those of you who will read this, do you know what your place is in the family? In your church, in God's plan, what is it that He called you to do? I hope you do. 

I was created to be a husband and a father, a brother and a son. But before all of that I am a son of God. And what did Father God in all His sovereignty give me to do. Hopefully I was once a good enough teacher that any of my fellow students can answer that...