Bed rest vs Rewards

Too often we miss sight of God's provision in the midst of our troubles. It is often once we have had a moment to reflect after everyhting has settled that we notice how prevalent God's faithful Hand was guiding us, abiding with us, protecting us. I think to my son's birth this past week. Deacon Zechariah was born Saturday 9/4 at 6lbs 12oz and 18 inches long. A good healthy baby boy! Thank you God. But that was after 17 hours of labor at 36 weeks. A tough day for any couple. Add to that the 7 weeks my wife was on bed rest at 4cm dialated and the craziness level begins to rise. To think as I was holding my son, what would have happened if I saw him 7 weeks earlier. To think of the problems he would have been faced with, the issues affecting him. The trial brought a fuller reward. Our blessing increased as a family as long as we were able to persevere. And the bed rest that stretched me to limits previously unknown gave us a healthier son. I feel the same principles relate to the journey God often takes us on. The trials we face are often difficult and stretching. But figuratively He has the situation, you directly or a larger piece in the womb, still needing time to develop and grow. How hard I resist God's urge to sit and grow but if I submit to the time God calls me to be in the womb, I can truly become all that He desires. And make His reward, the fuller display of His glory even greater.

Forgiveness with a side of punishment

I was recently asked about a current news story that happened in the greater Cola area. A mom who was stressed out and probably had a lot of others going on, suffocated her two kids under 2 yrs old, put them in the car, and drove it into a body of water trying to make it look like an accident. This person was asked by a co-worker if God would actually forgive her. And they thought that maybe if God would still punish her even if He did forgive her for what she did. But this person wasn't sure how exactly that would work and came to me for some clarification. I wanted to post my reply because I think it has a couple of really important things. For one it is always great to go to someone for clarification if you aren't sure, especially when speaking to non-christians. Openly admitting you dont know everything but modeling the maturity to ask questions and grow, puts your relationship with the non-christian in a safe place. They know you aren't going to act like a "know it all" and if you do come back to them it gives you a chance to show them you value their questions and journey. The other thing is, it is a great chance to put on display the glory of God's grace and love! .... It brings up 2 major issues. First of all, forgiveness. Paul wrote in the letter to the Romans 8:1-14- 1Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus,[a] 2because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death. 3For what the law was powerless to do in that it was weakened by the sinful nature,[b] God did by sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful man to be a sin offering.[c] And so he condemned sin in sinful man,[d] 4in order that the righteous requirements of the law might be fully met in us, who do not live according to the sinful nature but according to the Spirit. 5Those who live according to the sinful nature have their minds set on what that nature desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. 6The mind of sinful man[e] is death, but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace; 7the sinful mind[f] is hostile to God. It does not submit to God's law, nor can it do so. 8Those controlled by the sinful nature cannot please God. 9You, however, are controlled not by the sinful nature but by the Spirit, if the Spirit of God lives in you. And if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, he does not belong to Christ. 10But if Christ is in you, your body is dead because of sin, yet your spirit is alive because of righteousness. 11And if the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead is living in you, he who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through his Spirit, who lives in you. 12Therefore, brothers, we have an obligation—but it is not to the sinful nature, to live according to it. 13For if you live according to the sinful nature, you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body, you will live, 14because those who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. The major issue here with forgiveness is first of all no longer condemnation for those "in Christ", those people who have submitted their life to God by accepting salvation thru Jesus' death. And if the Father is not going to condemn us for the sins we have committed then we dont have to worry about being punished by Him for a burden of that disobedience or sinful nature once we have asked God to take it away by forgiving us. (of course real moments of repentance that lead to forgiveness are only measured by God but can be known by us in the confidence and peace of our forgiveness that He can give us thru the Spirit). That is the point and purpose of Jesus' life and death on the cross; to absolve The Father's anger and hate of the sin within us without us having to experience the only equal punishment for that sin which is death and hell, a continual seperation from God for eternity. To look at this moms case, she could certainly have a moment in life where she hits her knees and cries out to God for forgiveness confessing what she did and God would forgive her of that sin completely and then not hold it against her. God never forgives us and then brings our sin back up to taunt us or punish us with it later. Once forgiveness comes into affect, its done. Resolved. Gone. As far as the East is from the West our sins are gone (psalm 103:12) And that is a perfect example of God's grace. Giving us this gift of forgiveness when we dont deserve it and have done nothing to attain it or achieve it. Thats why in Ephesisans 2:8 it says "For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith, and this not from your selves but it is the gift of God." The second major issue is it also brings up the fact that God is in control of the order of life. The natural causation, the effects and consequences this lady will go thru from having killed her two kids is not something God will automatically shield her from if she repents and calls out for God's forgiveness. God put into place the natural order of life. The pain and disgust that she would go through as part of the grieving process when she is confronted with the hard, cold reality of what she did is not going to be with held. The breaking of man's law and those consequences will not automatically be withheld if she says shes sorry. And I believe that is the case just like the old saying goes, because no man is an island. We are all interconnected especially as we are God's image, meant to show His glory. Paul again says in 2 Corinithians 5 9So we make it our goal to please him, whether we are at home in the body or away from it. 10For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, that each one may receive what is due him for the things done while in the body, whether good or bad. And while this does not contradict God's absolution and complete erasing of our sin, at first glance it makes things a little more complicated. How are we held accountable for what we do if God wipes our sin away? Taking my wife's artistic mentality, its best understood with a picture. Say the day you appear before Jesus Christ as He judges your life as a Christian, you are sitting before Him and beside you is one of those home-made, patchwork quilts. You know the ones that are made of the big squares. Now each square is something you have done, good or bad and there is a snap shot of that act or conversation. The ones that Christ has forgiven you for are now a snapshot of Jesus on the Cross, covering anything else that was there before. You also have the good things you have done. And for those Christ will reward you; for your faithfulness to Him, your righteousness, your good deeds. Those are the "crowns"/rewards that will be given to you by Christ. 2 Timothy 4:8 is one place Paul talks about it, Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day—and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing. So short story is that although you will be judged for what you have done, Christ will cover your sins and won't punish you for something He died for. Otherwise that would be like the Father saying the Son's sacrifice was incomplete. But no, His salvation and forgivness is perfect and His grace free!

What do you have to offer?

How would you answer this question, "What do you have to offer?"

Huh?

I was speaking to a friend of mine the other day. Of course it was about women and how do we keep them and keep them happy while we have them. (only the most important things get discussed here!)

And he is head over heels about a girl he has to wait for. So for the month they are separated, he feels lost. I know the feeling. I remember when my wife would go visit family with our daughter when she was newborn. Making the rounds to sisters and moms and friends. She would leave me for a couple days up to a week and a half.

And what would I do beside read books, catch up on 'man movies' and eat bad... I would fill my time with meaningless stuff, things that kept me busy so I wouldn't realize quite so much how lonely I was. A bit pathetic, perhaps, especially if you saw all the money I spent on the meaningless things but a bit necessary.

So I asked my friend before he spirals into that same down hill slalom, What do you have to offer her? Most women can find someone who can offer affection and attention. That is what me base most of our intermediate relationships on before we call them "the one" or what ever other title we want.

What can you really offer that she would want and can't get anywhere but from you? That would be a peculiar way to look at a lot of our relationships. What if we went to work tomorrow saying, "what am I going to offer at work today that only I can?" What something, exceptional, what something impactful, what something needed can you offer?

It may not be taken, or at least it may not be appreciated. But what are you adding to your relationships, your work, your loves that really matter? I wont tell you what I told my friend, because I think its more about what we see ourselves giving than seeing what others should.

But I promise, it was good!

What's Church got to do with it?

What's Church got to do with it? (imagine an 80's throwback ring tone going off) uh huh!

It amazes me how we love to suck people dry as they serve in the church. Part of the Church's job (and I use big C to notate the global church) is to help each Christian find their purpose, locate their spiritual gifts and give them opportunities to serve and grow with accountability and encouragement.

But what we prefer to do is grab a few successful people and load as much onto them as they can bear and then ask in the name of Jesus to add more.

We need to be protecting our leaders by helping them balance responsibilities in the church and in their family. Our greatest success as pastors should be promoting health families. If the greatest impact on toddlers and teenagers are parents why don't we spend more time focused on the family and not on the production of Sunday morning.

When I was a student pastor I couldn't understand how some people could work 40 or 50 hours a week in the jobs, be involved in their kids lives and after school activities, and play major roles in multiple ministries.

I don't think I could count on both hands all the conversations I intentionally started to ask my leaders about the health of their marriages. So often its the result of the attendance sheets not the changed lives that are our focus. Or its the patience to look down the road and see the continuation of our children's faith that is our boast and not the short handed goals to brag about at conferences.

But when we are filled with compassion to the point of caring, then sitting down to grab a caramel covered ice cream cone from Zesto's with the people who make God's vision actually run smoothly in our churches should certainly have a different flavor than the next bale to load on to them.

Family First

So how do you do a successful family ministry?

First off- what does your family look like? The make up of the church family in general depicts a lot of how you do what you do. I have never been one to think that we want to multiplicate ministry styles as much as ministry purpose. I always thought Jesus appreciates the different flavors we bring to the Bride of Christ. But after that I believe there are some basic general principles to do it right.

Working with students is about time. Time invested is time given. Its about stepping into their arenas of influence to give them a line in distress, a friend, a model. Not so much as to invade and take over their identity but enough to know there is a clear presence offered. Its also about purpose. Where do you want them to be when your time with them is done? I asked that to a guy who was contemplating stepping into Student Ministry. Students aren't just kids killing time to become adults. The trials and experiences we all face to mature don't have to be waited for until after we go thru the college party years. Church has had this idea that students are a lost cause until they have been burnt bad enough by the world that they would come back to God. I think God would like to put a burning in students bad enough they change their schools and colleges.

But family ministry is all about parents. Coming together, teaming up, joining with. It is when we communicate lessons and themes that we give them the abilities to create doorways to talk to their kids about God and issues they face. We assist in offering healthier families but not isolating them from the fun we have or the truth we uncover. Too many parents are overwhelmed with bills and fears of the future that often times their own marriages begin to suffer under the constant strain. So why not speak not just into their kids life but theirs as well.

Its not just about the parents. But the development of the younger brothers and sisters. They have psychologically shown that personality is 90% ingrained by the age of 5. Behaviors, attitudes, emotional capabilities that echo for the rest of their life. And as much as we spend on preschoolers education and toddlers nutrition, what about laying the spiritual foundation for what is to come.

And then you have the older brothers and sisters. Those already forging away into jobs and degrees and settling down. This is a time when so many twenty somethings are out on their own making their own decisions. But few are ever mentored on finding and achieving their purpose. Few are given the trust and belief to go after their dreams much less uncover them. Instilling confidence and walking beside someone in their journey is one of the main goals as we see students age and grow into the next stage of life.

And the cycle continues. That is until you have an empty nest but that is where the real limits of our potentials are removed. To have unafraid abandoned to God grandparents mentoring, teaching, leading, speaking of who God is and how they have seen Him work are nuggets of legacy that can really change generations.

Family ministry is in essence all the separate ministries working together to achieve the same goal, "Thy kingdom come on earth as it is in heaven" and may we increase from glory to glory strength to strength and step into the full measure of Christ within ourselves.

Family ministry is a removal of the boundaries of age in the church and a realization that not only do we need each other. (as in without mature older leadership our faith will be attacked and led astray and without reckless passionate love and youth we will become ingrained and exclusive to sharing God grace losing compassion for the lost and hurting) But that we can learn from each other.

That's the difficult part

What is your calling?

I feel pretty bad when someone asks me "Why did you leave your last church?" Not that I'm annoyed by any means of the question, it just normally seems like my answer doesn't satisfy them enough. But its the only answer I have. "Because God told me to leave."

I wasn't hired away, I wasn't fired away or encouraged to step down. I didn't walk away or get burnt out. God told my wife and I to leave.

Another question I feel bad when asked is, "So what has God been teaching you?" Not that my answer is too simple but if you want the honest truth, be prepared to be overwhelmed. Because I have a list that will get more than your pants dirty.

Why God called us to leave ministry when we were enjoying it and being successful- I"m not completely sure. But I do know the lessons I have learned thru these past 18 months are crucial to who I am.

I know without a shadow of a doubt that I want to be back in Church ministry. Its the Bride of Christ. You can do it a number of different ways with a number of different ministry positions. But as a whole we help balance each other out. I mean all Christians are supposed to be living 2 Peter 1:3-9- we all have the same goal, to increase in the image of Christ to bring glory to God.

That adds to my quandary. How do I want to be involved in the Church? I realized I want an atypical student ministry that isn't the cut and dry, fit it all in a box ministry that focuses solely on teenagers. The church is the hope of the world. The Body of Christ acting like Christ. I want the family.

Have you heard the stories of a 72 year old woman, stories that would offer wisdom to the battered world of a 14 year old girl, advice she's dying for? Have you seen a mom of 3 boys after she's gone out with women her own age without kids? There is a reason we are supposed to be relational- talk about a de-stresser! Or how about helping a dad balance providing for his family and being with his family.

These 18 months have widened my gaze to what ministry is about and what I want to be about in ministry. There aren't many job descriptions out there like that. Lets go back to what we have been taught recently, we will start with a 5 letter word that starts with "T" and ends with a chemical reaction when metal is left in the rain.

Verse for the day

Philippians 4:12-13- I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation...I can do everything thru him who gives me strength.

My boy Brett Favre lost another NFC Championship game. I sat there with just a few minutes left in overtime and thought to myself as another reviewed played out, "Either way I am ok".

Not that what I feel or think actually matters. But when the Vikings still had a chance, I thought either way this was a good year. Either way it was a great football game. Either way who ever won was going to give the Colts a run for their money.

But I will be the first to say it, I hope he comes back. It was a long year and a tough year and the way he sounded in one of those pre-game interviews made us believe he would call it quits after this season. But I hope he comes back.

But even if he doesn't it will be ok. They had a great season. Beat Dallas soundly. Played New Orleans toe to toe and really lost it themselves, I don't know if they could have actually played better. A.P. will still fumble next year. Favre will still throw interceptions.

So it might as well be done. But I can still hope, right?

Enjoy the ride!

Rejection is always a difficult thing in life, isn't it? I was quite proud of myself back in the day (I'm a dad so I can use that phrase) when I would tell people that I never had a girlfriend break up with me. Mercy would then hit me in the arm and say, "What were you dating them for in the first place!" I love my wife!

We had a possible job opportunity come up or perhaps I should say a possible job opportunity ended this past week. I was actually quite excited about it. The job, not the ending.

What really got me was the rejection. Not by the church for not hiring us. I felt rejected by God. We aren't on the first trek of this journey since leaving our full time church job 18 months ago. We have had ups and downs, clarity and confusion, all of it. And you could say our hopes were a little high on this one.

After I found out I couldnt sleep. I just began to question God, "What are you doing?" Why did you call us out in the first place? Why won't you restore the blessing of being back in a church to us?

It pretty much sounded like I was throwing a temper tantrum in my bathroom.

But then God gave me a perfect picture of where I am. We just got back from a 14 hour round trip car ride with a 1 year old who had two teeth trying to break thru by the time we got back. At one point she had woken up from her nap and wanted to get out of the car seat restraints so bad. But we had about 30 more minutes to go before our next stop. It breaks your heart when your little kid is crying and so upset because they dont understand what's going on. If they only knew that in just a moment or two things would be better. You were taking them to a great place they were going to enjoy but they just had to wait a little bit longer to get there. Kids dont understand trips. They dont get the passage of time and travel. They dont comprehend the journey until they have experienced it or have a little more wisdom under their belts. Then they can grasp what is going on.

It doesnt matter how i look at myself or what I have achieved or been a part of, I am one of God's kids and I truthfully I dont get this journey. But I do know who is in control and I do know He has a plan and a purpose for my family.

So i am going to sit back and enjoy the ride. The stop is coming soon enough.

What do you have to offer

What a weekend it has been. My baby girl just turned one, took the family for a little vacation to Orlando for Eden and my niece Ellis to celebrate their birthdays together. (check out my wife's blog for some awesome pictures)

Mercy and I talked a good bit in regards to our future on the drive home. I think our marriage has had its best conversations in the car. As she puts it, I am trapped and have to be in a steady state of alertness and attention so I listen better.

Of course our future in God's hands was one of the big topics we covered. It is pretty frustrating to feel like you are capable and qualified for so much more but nothing seems to come your way.

As I was driving home from work the phrase, "What do you have to offer" shot across my mind as I passed an American Red Cross building. I am someone who has an O negative blood type which of course is the most widely accepted blood type for all blood transfers or infusions. But I rarely give blood. I work the humdrum 8-5 shift with a short lunch and want to get home to my family at the end of the day and cant afford to just get out and go across town to give blood.

Cant afford to or maybe don't make the effort to. (they are open on Saturdays as well)

But blood is precious and my type of blood is one of the most precious. It is something I can offer but never do because I dont make it a priority. I dont make it intentional.

It is like tithing at church, communicating to your wife, exercising, drinking more water, reading the Bible. Activities that once you start practicing them make things better.

Maybe even make you better. But activities that have to be decided upon and acted on.

As I look towards my families future I think about what Mark Batterson said the other day to think big is to think long. And although I believe in the full sovereignty of God, that He didnt just throw us into life to figure things out on our own and whatever we decide to do is fine. I do believe that He doesnt want us to sit like a piece of driftwood in the power of the waves of the sea. But rather like a sailing boat a course or direction has to be decided upon and acted on no matter how the wind blows.

I like this sailing idea especially when you start looking at terms like "in irons" and "tacking". (its a good google research break)

So what does my life have to offer? Even when life blows.