What's Church got to do with it?

What's Church got to do with it? (imagine an 80's throwback ring tone going off) uh huh!

It amazes me how we love to suck people dry as they serve in the church. Part of the Church's job (and I use big C to notate the global church) is to help each Christian find their purpose, locate their spiritual gifts and give them opportunities to serve and grow with accountability and encouragement.

But what we prefer to do is grab a few successful people and load as much onto them as they can bear and then ask in the name of Jesus to add more.

We need to be protecting our leaders by helping them balance responsibilities in the church and in their family. Our greatest success as pastors should be promoting health families. If the greatest impact on toddlers and teenagers are parents why don't we spend more time focused on the family and not on the production of Sunday morning.

When I was a student pastor I couldn't understand how some people could work 40 or 50 hours a week in the jobs, be involved in their kids lives and after school activities, and play major roles in multiple ministries.

I don't think I could count on both hands all the conversations I intentionally started to ask my leaders about the health of their marriages. So often its the result of the attendance sheets not the changed lives that are our focus. Or its the patience to look down the road and see the continuation of our children's faith that is our boast and not the short handed goals to brag about at conferences.

But when we are filled with compassion to the point of caring, then sitting down to grab a caramel covered ice cream cone from Zesto's with the people who make God's vision actually run smoothly in our churches should certainly have a different flavor than the next bale to load on to them.

Family First

So how do you do a successful family ministry?

First off- what does your family look like? The make up of the church family in general depicts a lot of how you do what you do. I have never been one to think that we want to multiplicate ministry styles as much as ministry purpose. I always thought Jesus appreciates the different flavors we bring to the Bride of Christ. But after that I believe there are some basic general principles to do it right.

Working with students is about time. Time invested is time given. Its about stepping into their arenas of influence to give them a line in distress, a friend, a model. Not so much as to invade and take over their identity but enough to know there is a clear presence offered. Its also about purpose. Where do you want them to be when your time with them is done? I asked that to a guy who was contemplating stepping into Student Ministry. Students aren't just kids killing time to become adults. The trials and experiences we all face to mature don't have to be waited for until after we go thru the college party years. Church has had this idea that students are a lost cause until they have been burnt bad enough by the world that they would come back to God. I think God would like to put a burning in students bad enough they change their schools and colleges.

But family ministry is all about parents. Coming together, teaming up, joining with. It is when we communicate lessons and themes that we give them the abilities to create doorways to talk to their kids about God and issues they face. We assist in offering healthier families but not isolating them from the fun we have or the truth we uncover. Too many parents are overwhelmed with bills and fears of the future that often times their own marriages begin to suffer under the constant strain. So why not speak not just into their kids life but theirs as well.

Its not just about the parents. But the development of the younger brothers and sisters. They have psychologically shown that personality is 90% ingrained by the age of 5. Behaviors, attitudes, emotional capabilities that echo for the rest of their life. And as much as we spend on preschoolers education and toddlers nutrition, what about laying the spiritual foundation for what is to come.

And then you have the older brothers and sisters. Those already forging away into jobs and degrees and settling down. This is a time when so many twenty somethings are out on their own making their own decisions. But few are ever mentored on finding and achieving their purpose. Few are given the trust and belief to go after their dreams much less uncover them. Instilling confidence and walking beside someone in their journey is one of the main goals as we see students age and grow into the next stage of life.

And the cycle continues. That is until you have an empty nest but that is where the real limits of our potentials are removed. To have unafraid abandoned to God grandparents mentoring, teaching, leading, speaking of who God is and how they have seen Him work are nuggets of legacy that can really change generations.

Family ministry is in essence all the separate ministries working together to achieve the same goal, "Thy kingdom come on earth as it is in heaven" and may we increase from glory to glory strength to strength and step into the full measure of Christ within ourselves.

Family ministry is a removal of the boundaries of age in the church and a realization that not only do we need each other. (as in without mature older leadership our faith will be attacked and led astray and without reckless passionate love and youth we will become ingrained and exclusive to sharing God grace losing compassion for the lost and hurting) But that we can learn from each other.

That's the difficult part